You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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