I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
