And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
