You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
