i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
