One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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