Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Randomize
