Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My life is pants optional.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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