How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
