Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
