Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
