Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Bring me that man meat
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
