I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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