i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
