Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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