Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
