Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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