i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
