Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
