She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
