I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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