Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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