Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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