5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
