my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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