My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
They took my balls.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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