Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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