i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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