i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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