i permit you to call me
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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