It's just like the Real World with babies
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
