How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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