Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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