I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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