at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
