Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
sex in a hospital.. check
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
