dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
