I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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