So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize