the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
