This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
