you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
