Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
