she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
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i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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