I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
