Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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