Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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