There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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