4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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