I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize