Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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