Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
