PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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