BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
