i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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