i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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