Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
No I am not eating basil off your cock
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
