I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
